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Home» Maswali»Q 30039
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Anonymous
Asked: February 20, 20192019-02-20T08:48:17+03:00 2019-02-20T08:48:17+03:00SMS

Nitapata wapi SMS za vichekesho?

Nitapata wapi SMS za vichekesho?
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  1. Ali Amisi
    2021-01-03T20:53:47+03:00Jibu - January 3, 2021 saa 8:53 pm

    Sms za vichekesho tu basi nenda nazo hizi apa

    Babu mmoja alikuwa na wajukuu zake barazani anawapa stori za ujana wakee
    Babu: Wajukuu zangu wakati wa ujana wangu nilitembelea karibuni nchi zote
    Wajukuu: Ulitembelea “kikazi” au?
    Babu: Hapana sikuwahi kufika kikazi kwa kuwa ilikuwa haijapata uhuru, lakini
    ilipopata uhuru niliitwa niende nikakataa

     

    Police alimkamata jamaa akikojoa sehemu iliyoandikwa:-
    MARUFUKU KUKOJOA HAPA’
    akamtoza faini sh 5000
    Yule jamaa akampa Elfu 10,000/=
    Police akamwambia
    Kojoa tena Sina chenji

     

    JAMAA: Dokta nisaidie nina tatizo kubwa la kusahau sahau
    DOKTA: Tatizo hilo limeanza lini?
    JAMAA:Tatizo gani?

     

    Jamaa alipata safari ya kikazi, wkt akiondoka mkewe akampatia paketi 4
    za kondom akimwambia unaweza kupata dharura, akajibu asante kwa
    kunijali. Akiwa ndani ya gari mkewe akamfuata na kumwambia, samahani
    nilisahau, niachie paketi moja na mimi naweza kupata dharura!.

     

    Padri alipotea mjini akamuuliza kijana 1 naomba unifahamishe wapi ilipo posta?,
    kijana akamfahamisha mpaka akakujua, padri akamjibu asante kwa kunionesha
    njia na ww njoo kanisani nikuoneshe njia ya peponi, kijana akamwambia
    imekushinda ya posta utaijua ya peponi muongo mkubwa we

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  2. Promo – MeridianBet

    Kubet kumerahisishwa

    Jipatie Tsh 3,500 ya kuanzia kama zawadi ya kujiunga.

    Jiunge Sasa
  3. Musa Adam

    Musa Adam

    • Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
    • 13 Questions
    • 85 Answers
    • 0 Best Answers
    • 315 Points
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    Musa Adam Expert
    2020-12-22T07:17:47+03:00Jibu - December 22, 2020 saa 7:17 am

    Sms za kuchekesha hizi hapa……….

    Afisa misitu alikwenda kwenye shamba la miti la jamaa kukagua, Jamaa akamwambia usiingie muda huu,Afisa akatoa kitambulisho cha kazi akamwonyesha huku akimwambia “We nani wa kunizuia? Niache nifanye kazi yangu” Jamaa akanywea akamfungulia gate. Baada ya muda jamaa akamuona afisa misitu akifukuzwa na nyuki huku akipiga makelele “Mama nakufa nisaidieni Nyuki wataniua” Jamaa akamwambia WAONYESHE KITAMBULISHO BLAZA

    *************************

    Mlevi kapiga simu polisi:
    MLEVI: hallow kuna wizi umetokea, nilipaki gari nikakuta stelling dashboard na siti ya dereva havipo.
    POLISI: tunakuja sasa hivi, upo mtaa gani?
    MLEVI: ooh samahani! Msije kumbe niliingilia mlango wa nyuma.

    ***************************

    jamaa mmoja alikua anapita nje ya wodi ya vichaa..akasikia kichaa mmoja anapiga kelele akisema 11,11,11 alivozidi sogea karibu ile sauti ya yule kichaa ilikua ikongezeka ikiashiria alikua amekaribia pale anapopigia kelele. Basi kulikua na kitundu jamaa akaona achungulie ajue ni nini anacho hesabu. Mara tu alipo chungulia, yule kichaa akamtoboa jicho na akaanza kuhesabu 12, 12, 12

    *************************

    Mangi mmoja street kwetu alipopokea bill ya Maji ya mwezi December iliyokuwa T.SHS 300,000, akawapigia DAWASCO huku akifoka. Aisee “NAONA BILL YA YALE MAFURIKO NIMELETEWA MIMI”

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  4. Promo – MeridianBet

    Kubet kumerahisishwa

    Jipatie Tsh 3,500 ya kuanzia kama zawadi ya kujiunga.

    Jiunge Sasa
  5. Faustine John

    Faustine John

    • Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
    • 16 Questions
    • 75 Answers
    • 0 Best Answers
    • 251 Points
    View Profile
    Faustine John Expert
    2020-04-18T08:42:07+03:00Jibu - April 18, 2020 saa 8:42 am

    *MASWAL1 YAKIJINGA YAKIJIBIWA VIZURI*??????????

    Q: Umenyoa nywele?

    A: *Hapana, nimebadilisha kichwa.*

    Q: Hiyo simu umenunua?

    A: *Hapana nimeitengeneza mwenyewe.*

    Q: Utakula mboga na nini?

    A: *Mdomo*

    (Simu inaita usiku,then aliyepiga anauliza) Q: Nimekuamsha?

    A: *Hapana nilikuwa naota jua hapa nje.*

    Q: Gazeti la leo linasemaje?

    A: *Sijaongea nalo.*

    Q: Gari limejaa, nitakaa wapi?

    A: *Usijali dereva anashuka kituo kinachofata utapata kiti.*

    Q: Hiyo ni ajali?

    A: *Hapana ni driver ameamua kupark gari upside down* .

    Q: Umepause movie?

    A: *Hapana wamechoka kuact wanarest.*
    ??????

    ??????

    iyo ni moja kati ya sms za vichekesho unazoweza kuzipata ukitembelea

    http://www.ackyshine.com/vichekesho:_home

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